Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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