She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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