I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
