my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
