have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
