But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize