Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
