i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize