UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
