she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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