They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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