Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
