6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
