This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize