i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
