I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
