the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
