If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Screwed.edu
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize