Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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