I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
