Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I want a musical about memes.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
