Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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