Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
