Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
