meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
