How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
