I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
