Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
