Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
