If i come over, it means nothing
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
