I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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