i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize