it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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