I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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