But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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