well you can't waste a boner
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
