peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
