I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize