apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
