I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
