I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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