I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
