When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
