so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
