Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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