I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize