You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
