Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
