please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
