sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The uberlube is also flammable
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
