i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
