Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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