When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
