honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
