I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
