dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
