Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
