what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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