you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Come on in and take your pants off
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