Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
